Happy Thanksgiving

It’s Thanksgiving Eve, and as I prepare to spend my day in the kitchen, I find myself trying to focus upon what I am grateful for and for whom I grateful. I try to live in gratitude and grace, but there are times when all that is wrong in the world and my life weigh heavy, and I feel the burden of that weight. Lately, I have been thinking about everything I don’t have rather than appreciating what I do. This time of year, I miss my dad more than ever. Thanksgiving was his favorite holiday, and it holds a special place for me.

When my dad was here, we would awaken early and work together to make the stuffing and stuff the bird. He would always insist on packing the stuffing so tightly that it would eventually pop out of the neck. There were many jokes and inappropriate comments about who would stick their hand up the turkeys a$$. Stuffing the Thanksgiving turkey was something we did together, and I cherish those memories. I work hard to create good memories with my bean. Some day, I hope she looks back and smiles over the things we did together.

This time of year is always emotionally tumultuous for me. Although I love creating memories with my bean, the holidays make it glaringly obvious I lack a relationship with the family I have left. It becomes a bit more painful to know that I have family just a few miles away, but they may as well be a world away. Although I know the relationship I crave is unobtainable, and it is better for all involved that things are the way they are, it still hurts. Broken ties and unhealthy relationships are a painful legacy I hope to not pass on to my bean.

So dear reader, although all is not right and perfect in my world, I believe I will have myself a good cleansing shower-cry, you know the kind where you just let the hot water wash over you and wash your tears down the drain. I then plan to step out of the shower, cleansed of all my fears, painful memories, and longing to refocus my thoughts. I can then focus on all that I am grateful for and blessed to have in my life:

-The Bibbed Wonder

- The Bean

-GramBarb

-My Uncles

-Friends

-Our Farm

-Our Barn Family

-A Home

-Food and Clothing

-Our Little Soap Endeavor

-Our Soap Family

-Love

-Contentment

-Joy

-Kindness

- Hard Work

-Fulfillment

- Health

-The Opportunity To Do What We Love, In The Place, We Love The Most

As you can see, dear reader, I have much more to be grateful for than I have lost. I wish you a happy, healthy, love-filled Thanksgiving. May your tummy be full, and your heart be overflowing. As always, stay safe, be smart, live in gratitude, and keep washing your hands. Happy Thanksgiving.