If You Don't Have Anything Nice To Say...

The saying goes, if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. These old sayings definitely apply. However, our society as a whole lacks the knowledge and application of basic courtesies. Last week, I went grocery shopping. I'm walking around with my good old-fashioned paper-written list and my pencil, checking off the items as I pick them up and put them in the cart. I'm minding my own business. Lost in my little world of errand running, trying to make a prescheduled appointment, and being conscientious of time management. I wasn't really paying any attention to anyone, just minding my own business. 

Once my list was completed, I got in line at the checkout. I refuse to do self-checkout unless The Bean is with me. I am not receiving a paycheck from the grocery store, and I should not have to do someone else's job. I also always screw up the checkout and need assistance, which makes me feel old and incompetent. So, I'm standing in line, thinking about my next stop, and I feel eyes on me. You know how you can feel when someone is staring at you? I had that feeling. I turn around, and there is an elderly couple behind me. The lady is eyeballing me hard and not in a nice way. Her order was just as large as mine, so it wasn't like she was annoyed with me or expecting me to let her go ahead of me. She was giving off a very annoyed vibe. I smiled and turned back to my order. 

I began unloading my cart, trying to keep all like items together. I feel I am doing this as a courtesy to the bagger. As I'm unloading, I can still feel the lady behind staring. I look over my shoulder, and I am correct. Again, I kind of smile and just keep unloading my cart. I keep a well-stocked pantry. It's just what I do. I buy flats of vegetables, broth, tomatoes, and beans to have on hand because having a well-stocked pantry makes me feel prepared. I like that feeling. The lady behind me is still eyeballing me, and my futile attempts at friendliness fall flat. 

I am now down to the last of my order, and I begin unloading the flats of canned goods from my cart. I am almost done; I have two flats left at the bottom of the cart. I admit, I don't move well. This time of year in particular affects my mobility, balance, and joints. With my psoriatic arthritis, I move like I'm about twenty years older than I am. I position myself behind the cart, bend at the waist, and struggle to pull the remaining two flats off the bottom of the cart. As I bend, I hear the lady behind me snort in disgust and then say to her husband, "God, I thought she was going to do a headstand." 

At this point, my patience with this woman is gone. I place my canned goods on the belt and purposefully turn around and make eye contact with the woman, letting her know I heard her comment. I raised an eyebrow and cocked my head to the side as if to say, "Really?" She looked me straight in the eye, never cracked a smile, and remained looking like she sucked on a lemon. I shook my head and paid for my order. All the while thinking if I had the ability to do a headstand, I would have done one right there.

I still, at fifty-three, don't understand why some people are rude or unkind without purpose. I have no idea why I irritated this woman, what provoked such behavior, or why she would think it's okay to say something rude. People baffle me. Now, don't get me wrong, I think a lot of inappropriate things when I am out and about. Here's the difference, I THINK it. I don't verbalize it. Just use your manners, people. Is it really too much to ask? That lady could have waited until I was out of earshot to make fun of me. I get that I don't move well; this time of year is a struggle for me. Even if I thought something rude about someone, I wouldn't say it out loud, especially about how someone is moving, and especially within earshot. 

Of course, I came home outraged. Of course, my bib over wearing protector was outraged right along with me. In no time, he was making inappropriate comments about what I could have or should have said or done, and he had me laughing. My favorite was that I should have done a headstand, yelled "Eat my a$$!" and farted in her general direction. See, I told you I am inappropriate. Of course, I would never do any of those things, but it would be funny. However, I have manners and use them.

So, the point of the blog today is to use your manners, practice basic courtesy, and don't blurt out whatever pops into your head. If it's not nice, don't say it. End of story. 

On this December Wednesday, stay safe, be smart, be nice, be polite, if you don't have anything nice to say, well, you know the drill, and keep washing your hands.