July's Man Blog

Welcome to July! It is a rather big birthday for the Good Old US of A this year. It has really got me thinking about how fortunate we are compared to some parts of the world.   Our dear friend Angie, one of Aunt Julia's Doughnuts A-Team members, has decided to spend the last few months in Ukraine doing some humanitarian work. She has been kind enough to send some pictures and details of what life is like over there. Thankfully, she is out of the danger zone but can still hear the bombs going off.

First and foremost, I have no concept of how close to a bomb you have to be to be in the safe zone and still hear it go boom. I am thankful for that fact. Up until a few months ago, I did not worry about having a friend so close to any of that nonsense. We are a few weeks away from not having that worry here at Smayville.

But it is Merica's Big Burfday Bash, and I wanted to go through the changes we are facing here. We will probably be the last ones who are alright with pets being savagely fed dry pet food.   Some can eat as much as they wish. I fear that we are from the last bunch that will find it acceptable to feed pets, pet food. The ingredient list for the food for pets that are truly loved makes my mouth water.—wild-caught salmon mixed with grassland buffalo. I don't know the first thing about either creature, but I sure feel good about myself knowing those damn salmon had a fair fight before being caught in the wild. The farmed-harvested salmon makes me feel bad. Don't get me started on trying to eat a buffalo whose home was not on the range. I can't help but wonder how many North Korean grocery stores had to rethink their names every time a new pet food comes out on the American market. There are more than a few word combinations containing fresh and pet that can be either really good for your dog or a really good dog. I wonder if wild-caught grassland pooch is the primo of the hound munching world. At the farm, we are just about as guilty as anyone with the diet of our one hundred pounds of furry dumb. There is only one specific top-notch brand that we get. I tell myself that at least it is a bag of dry food, and it is necessary because without it, his butt will stink.  

We are going to be the last people in America to remember life without toilet paper that didn't tear in a zig-zag was like. How many people are going to be telling their grandchildren about living through the weird times of COVID, when they were lucky enough to find toilet paper that was perforated in a straight line? The grandkids will either think we are the most savage creatures to walk the earth, because by then, they will have an app for everything. Yep. Everything. Or will we be known as the stupidest time in recorded history, with so much free time that we focused on toilet paper perforation? One of my favorite quotes from my pap is, "When I was growing up, people ate in their house and pooped outside. No wonder the world is messed up." It is a struggle to find a flaw in that logic.

There will never be another generation that can go through life knowing how to live without a computer's help. It has just been so handy to shout, "Hey, Google," rather than have to think or figure it out on our own. It just seems natural after asking any of the listening clankers a question about a 5K that every clanker you touch for the next six months shows you adds on shoes, running, jogging, hopping, skipping, more shoes, and finally not needing shoes because being grounded is better. Then you remember, you asked a listener about the benefits of the new grounding trend.   The constant bombardment of advertising is just a part of life. We had discussed trying to get companies to pay for the blog. Monetizing the blog is what the cool kids call it. Full disclosure, I would 100% go for it if it were Tony's Pizza or Roundhouse Bibs. One is our fallback for a meal on an overly busy day. The other one understands the correct way to build britches with an apron. But it is just nice to have a spot to get away from the day without someone trying to make you buy something.

My favorite part of social media is seeing ads that make me say, "Wow, are we dumb. I never look twice at something I would actually use or want. My winner this month is for "Emergency Internet." If there is an emergency and you don't have internet, you do now. I remember when I needed information, I used books. The time spent flipping through the Merck Vet Manual, trying to match up a problem on the farm to the symptoms in the book, really was not any longer than endlessly scrolling through all sorts of sources online. In the process of flipping through the pages, you would always pick up a random useful fact for later. Even handier than books is just knowing how to go about life without needing direction. How long should we have the frozen pizza in the oven? We threw out the directions. Who really cares, just as long as it is warm. Now we either shout it out loud or type it into our phones. We could get in the car and go to a restaurant without having to check its social media, typical crowd size at this hour, daily special, and most popular dish. We just did life.

We will be the last to know life without some form of artificial intelligence involved. There is now an uproar whenever AI is used to create any pictures on social media. It has fallen out of favor. (Although the picture of Fuschia the goat I made to look like a hippie with the help of AI was priceless, and I apologize for nothing.)  I can't say I lose any sleep over stupid pictures being made. What really keeps me up at night is when we didn't realize our car registration was up, and we got pulled over in a little town in Indiana. The police officer was nice, didn't give us a ticket, and kindly reminded us that we needed to get it taken care of. But the fact of the matter is, the best officer in the world would not have had any idea without the help of what I like to call a snitching clanker.   The argument was that if you need to catch a really bad guy, these systems are a huge help. After installation, they became a really great moneymaker for every small town. Clankers that snitch are the worst in my book.

We are looking forward to celebrating the big Two Five O this year and can't help but feel extremely fortunate to have the small life issues here in the USA, compared to the big life problems elsewhere in the world. Some of you reading this might have fewer fingers after the fourth. Appreciate the fact that a firework accident is the freedom to be stupid. Until next month, stay safe and wash on.