The past few weeks have been enlightening and challenging. I’ve learned several things while social distancing. Some for better, some for worse but all for a purpose I am sure. The following is my list thus far:
1. I should not be permitted to use tools that cut or remove hair from my head in general.
After discovering several years ago that waxing my own eyebrows at home can have terrible, long lasting results… (I almost completely removed my entire left eyebrow). I bought myself one of those fancy, as seen on T.V, platinum hair removers for the face. You know the one I am talking about that is safe even for the youngest novice shaver. This time, my right eyebrow was the victim and now I feel like my sixth-grade teacher with the pancake makeup who painted on her eyebrows daily…never following the same pattern twice. Again, social distancing is not all bad.
2. Child safety scissors, although scissors are meant for construction paper not hair. I had nice, hair cutting scissors that I kept in a safe drawer in my bathroom. I have learned that nothing is safe from Jordan. If she wants, needs, or thinks she wants/needs she takes it, uses it, and never, ever, ever, puts it back, ever. I decided I would just give my bangs a quick trim. How hard can it be, I follow the lines my hair stylist creates, just a few inches shorter…not a big deal. My bangs look like a kindergartener cut them with school scissors. Now, I have to face my stylist some time and she is going to be so irritated with me. She’s a single mom of two teenagers and a three-year-old, she could but the fear of God into the Pope himself. Also, she has multiple tattoos…do you know the kind of pain tolerance one has to have to endure multiple tattoos? I don’t either but I’m betting it is much higher than my pain tolerance. Seriously, she’s the kind of stylist you don’t want to “F” with! Mandi, if you read this, I love you. You frighten me but I love you…you already know this about me.
3. Chickens don’t urinate. It’s true. As my darling daughter pointed out, they don’t even have a hole from which to urinate. It all comes out with their poo. Now you know, you’re welcome.
4. Counting toilet paper squares for each family member to assess how long one family will safely have the use of toilet paper is real world math. We are safe, for a bit.
5. Texting, emails, and social media are not replacements for human to human contact. I have seen a few friends in person for brief periods of time and I love seeing those faces and hearing those voices. If it were socially acceptable, I would hug them.
6. Social distancing has made me appreciate what I once took for granted. I miss the laughter of multiple children in my home. I miss stories about school. I miss random drop in visits from friends and neighbors. I miss Sunday afternoon gatherings with my uncles. I miss food I did not cook.
7. I have also learned, I always knew, but it is a little clearer now, I LIKE my family. I did well picking a life partner. He is fun. He is really smart. He is hardworking and driven. He makes me not take myself or life so seriously. He is my biggest, loudest cheerleader. I like the Bibbed Wonder quite a bit. My child, although not a biological clone of myself, is as close to myself as I will get. She is a better version of anything I could ever imagine.
8. I also have learned we will be okay. No matter what life throws at us, we will adapt and be fine. Hopefully, not just fine but better. There are many lessons to be learned and we haven’t even begun to understand the meaning of this situation or the outcomes that will follow. I truly believe we will be better for all of this…except my eyebrow and hair…there is simply no hope.
As always, stay safe, stay smart, and wash your hands.