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  • Writer's pictureTina

Flip The Script: Ramblings on a Thursday

Well, dear reader, I spent my morning running my bean to appointments. I came home after dropping her off at school and wrote to you about the birthday cake I made for Jordan's best friend, Raylee. Only to discover today is not Foodie Friday. Sigh. Well, the positive is my blog is done for tomorrow and will be posted promptly at 8:00 a.m. However, at noon on Thursday, I am grappling with a blog topic. Sigh.

While driving home from errands and school this morning, I was listening to talk radio. The topic of the discussion was feeding the soul with kind words. If you have had in-person interactions with me, chances are, I have given you an off-the-wall compliment. I notice things about people. I can't help it; I am observant, and some things jump out at me. I notice smiles, good skin, nice teeth, eyes, eyelashes, lipstick shades, hair, outfits, accessories, tattoos, and the vibrations or energy people give off. In the last several years, I have become quite comfortable complimenting people on the lovely things I notice about them. It's not sucking up or a sales pitch; it's just me noticing the good, attractive, or beautiful in someone.

Here's the thing: I don't think people make enough of an effort to make someone feel good or comment on the good that we see in them. Have you ever noticed how when we are in groups, say with our friends or colleagues, it is easy to pick apart a person? Why are we, as humans, so ready and willing to notice and comment on the things that bug us or we don't like about someone? This is especially true when we are around someone who is feeling not so positive. It's easy to jump on that bandwagon and go for a ride. I chalk it up to human nature, but several years ago, I consciously tried to flip the script.

If I think of a negative thought, I can now readily recognize this in myself, and I force myself to think of a positive thought in its place. I firmly believe we get back what we put out into the world. My goal is to put goodness and kindness into the world. Don't get me wrong, I'm so not perfect. Chances are, if another driver pulls out in front of me or cuts me off in traffic, I'm using foul language and calling them various names like F*** Nuts!, Butt Plug, or Ass Cheese. The difference is after a negative outburst, I try to think of something positive. Now, granted, it may be something like it's a good thing I don't rear-end you, or perhaps it is something along the lines of its a good thing we aren't going to the same place because I would firmly plant my foot in your ass, but I try to correct it. Listen, I'm a work in progress. Some days, that's all the positive I can muster. I believe the point is I try.

The Bean and The Bibbed Wonder used to be embarrassed or annoyed when I would compliment strangers. Jordan would say things like, "Mom, that's cringy! You don't know that person!" My response to her was, "I know I don't; that's what makes it better. Did you see their face light up? Did you see them smile? Did you see how their whole demeanor changed after I told them they have a beautiful smile/pretty eyes/great outfit?" She did notice, and she took note. Guess what, dear reader? My kid now mimics my "cringy" behavior. I catch her complimenting strangers all the time. I never comment. I sit back, smile, and think good job, kid. However, I make sure I tell her I appreciate her kindness or I love how she views the world with positive eyes. Kindness is catching, and we mimic the behaviors that we see those around us demonstrating.

Maybe you didn't grow up with a family that is comfortable sharing compliments, showing appreciation, or being kind. Many grew up in homes where only the negatives were addressed. Perhaps you weren't called out for doing something well; only when you did something wrong were your behaviors addressed. I believe that is the experience of many. You have the power to flip the script, too. You can be the first one in your family to express kindness, pride, appreciation, and positivity. Brace yourself. Not everyone will be comfortable with this flipping of the script. Perhaps you will get told to get off your high horse, or you'll be ridiculed. Maybe some rude, bitter, and angry co-worker will call you Little Mary Sunshine behind your back, making sure you know what she thinks of you in a passive-aggressive manner. I say, "F*** It! Do it anyhow." For every insult that is flung, I will throw two compliments out there.

Soon, your willful thought process will become a natural reflex. Kindness is contagious. Kindness feeds the soul. My husband tells me every day how proud he is of me. He says, "You always look pretty, or you're a force of nature." Not once will you ever catch me telling him to stop saying that to me. Why? Because he is feeding my soul. He is giving me the nourishment I need to move ahead with my hair-brain ideas. He is making me feel loved, appreciated, and worthy. In return, I tell him how proud I am of all he does. I try to compliment him on at least one of the many things he is or does well. It keeps our relationship strong and feeds us in the lean times.

Yes, there will be lean times. We all experience the feeling of self-doubt, being overwhelmed, and feeling like we are spinning our wheels and not getting anywhere. We are human; it's inevitable. Ensure you surround yourself with those who feed your soul during the lean times. If your circle makes you feel less than you are, unworthy, like a screw-up or a failure, find a new circle. Surrounding yourself with those who lift you up is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. However, it is a two-way street. You have to be willing to nourish others when times are lean. We are not meant to feel inadequate, inferior, or ashamed. The Universe didn't bring you into the world to be less than you were made to be. You were made to excel and lift up others in the process.

I challenge you to try to flip the script. Make an effort to say something nice to at least one person a day. Once you have accomplished this feat, raise the bar. Challenge yourself to do something nice for someone who may not necessarily deserve it. Don't expect anything in return. Just be nice for the sake of being nice. If it backfires, and sometimes it will, don't lose heart. In the end, you tried, you did a good thing, you put some positivity out into the world, and you created an opportunity. Don't repeat the behaviors if someone uses you, and sometimes they will. Instead, say I tried, I wish you well, but I am out. No ill will, no unkind words, no angry outbursts. It's okay to guard your new kind heart. The important thing is that you tried.

Thank you for reading my ramblings. I appreciate you and all you bring into my world. Who would have thought goats and soap would create such a positive experience? On this lovely, sunny day, stay safe, be smart, challenge yourself to be kind, flip the script on negativity, and keep washing your hands. Also, if I say something like, "You have gorgeous hair, great skin, I love your purse, or you are so calm and chill," know I mean it as the greatest compliment, and I think you are absolutely lovely.

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Nov 02, 2023

Love this!!


Nov 02, 2023

Luv this! What great advice!🥰

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