Tomorrow is the day the world was graced with one bib overall wearing wonder buns. Rather than have our usual Gob Cake or a bakery cake, he has asked for his favorite no-bake cookies. This goes against my belief that everyone should have a cake on their birthday. However, my handsome little buddy asked for it so he will get what he wants on his birthday. No-bake cookies should be goof-proof, but mine always end up dry and crumbly. My bib-overall-wearing pastry chef informed me it is because I don't use margarine.
I hate using margarine. My friend once informed me that margarine is one molecule away from being plastic, and I can't get that out of my head. By the way, I did fact-check this idea, and it is a misnomer. However, this idea sticks in my head and validates my distaste for everything manufactured regarding food. It's what we do; we cherry-pick the facts to meet our narrative. I am 100% guilty. Why would one choose margarine over real, thick, delicious, natural butter? I don't know either! All jokes aside, it's just a personal preference. No offense if you like margarine. If I'm being transparent, some cookie recipes work better with margarine. However, I will never admit that to The Bibbed Wonder...insert a wink.
Mostly, I am annoyed by the fact that A) he is probably correct, B) it irritates me that he is almost always correct, C) he has the nerve to criticize the cookies I make for him, and D) he is a smug little know-it-all that flips me off when I call him a smug little-know-it all. However, it is my smug little-knows-it-all birthday, and I will respect his preferences. Just know I like real butter. In our house, we battle over silly things like Helmen's vs. Miracle Whip, Skippy vs. Jif, and Cheez-Its vs. Triscuits. I do all the grocery shopping, so I win every time.
Anyhow, I digress. No-bake cookies are on the menu for the weekend, and I thought I would share The Birthday Boy's favorite recipe. Without further adieu, the easiest recipe in the world that is not goof-proof for me.
1/2 Cup Butter or Margarine
2 Cups Sugar
1/2 Cup Milk
1/4 Cup Cocoa
1 tsp. Vanilla
1/2 Cup Peanut Butter
3 1/2 Cups Quick Oats
-Line a cookie sheet with parchment or waxed paper
-Measure out all ingredients in advance, but do not mix
-In a heavy-bottomed saucepan, melt margarine, sugar, and cocoa.
-Bring to a full boil. Set a timer and boil for one minute.
-Remove from heat and stir in peanut butter, vanilla, and quick oats.
-Working quickly, drop the mixture by the spoonful onto parchment paper or waxed paper.
-Allow to cool for twenty minutes, and enjoy.
-Store in an air-tight container.
If you've never made No-Bake Cookies, I hope you enjoy them. My little bald pastry chef is correct; margarine works best for this recipe, but use real butter if you wish. Enjoy your weekend, eat cookies-life is short, and keep washing your hands.