Haters Gon' Hate

Today, dear reader, I would like to discuss something that has been on my mind all spring. The topic for today's blog is detractors, or perhaps a more commonly used slang term is "haters." The Bean will often use this term in reference to someone who dislikes her or something she is passionate about, such as Taylor Swift. I have been familiar with the term "hater" since the late nineties or early two thousands when I was working with at-risk youth in a juvenile treatment facility. When there was conflict between clients or they were in opposing gangs, they would use the term "hater," ie, "haters gon' hate" or "he be hatin' on me." Back in the day, a hater was specific to the drug culture and gang affiliation. Now, it is part of our pop culture.

Although far removed from the streets of Philly or drug culture, even in my small, rural world, there are haters. There has been a lot of drama and "hate" surrounding my beloved summer market. This is an ongoing issue, and I feel I need to share a bit of insider perspective. Please allow me to clarify, this blog is merely my observations and opinions. I, in no way, speak for anyone else at the market or for the market itself. My intention is not to add fuel to the proverbial fire, but to ask people to think before they act, consider the entire picture, use common sense, act as an adult, a professional, and a good person.

First, a little background information. The market drama began in the fall surrounding the holiday market. A vendor, whom I won't name, was not accepted into the holiday market. This vendor was very unhappy about not being part of the holiday market. Rather than self-reflecting on why this may have occurred, acting professionally, and accepting the market board's decision, taking an opportunity to think creatively and branch out, this vendor did something that many do in this digital age: they took to social media and they blasted the market, Now, as is often the case in these situations, publicly denouncing an entity or individual did not change the outcome. It, in fact, made the situation far worse.

Fast forward to the spring. Unsurprisingly, the market decided to no longer partner with the vendor who had publicly attacked them on social media. I don't feel I'm a marketing genius, but this came as no surprise to me or anyone else, except perhaps the vendor in question. This decision led to an all-out war against the market and has had a ripple effect on more than 100 small businesses, farmers, artists, and producers. The situation escalated to the point that town hall meetings were held regarding permits, start dates, contract language, and the acceptance of other businesses into the market season.

There are individuals on social media who denounce the market with every given opportunity, all in the name of protecting and supporting the ousted vendor. These individuals have called for a boycott of the market, boycotting anyone who doesn't support their cause, as well as small businesses that continue to attend the market. From my perspective, I feel the situation has gotten way out of hand. Allow me to share my perspective and observations from last year and years past.

What these supporters fail to see is what occurred behind the scenes over several market seasons. As is often the case, the "victim" fails to see the role they played in their demise and eventual downfall. However, it did not go unobserved by others. The adage "where there's smoke, there's fire" applies. Let's just say that there are reasons why other vendors are not outraged by the decisions made and leave it at that. The decisions were made on valid, fact-based information. As my dear friend, Tricia, states in her sing-songy playground voice that never fails to make me giggle, 'Rules are rules; they are no fun, but rules are made for everyone.' With the outcry for justice, all vendors were placed under scrutiny, and some were found to be in violation of said rules. They, too, were not accepted into the market. However, the difference is that they did not jump onto the destroy the market bandwagon. They graciously announced that they would no longer be a vendor, provided their market family with information on where to find their products, thanked the market for its many years of success, and focused on growing their business. Kudos to them for being professionals.

Rather than bowing out graciously, accepting newfound success with other national outlets, thanking the public and the market for the opportunity and a good run, and focusing on growing in new directions, it became an all-out war against an entity that supports small, local, and regional businesses, artists, and farmers. With their focus on denouncing a small country market and doing everything within their power to destroy a good thing that served them well for many years, they opted to not only hurt the market but the local economy, over 100 small businesses, many trying to get a start, and in the fall out, hundreds of families. In my opinion, this behavior epitomizes selfishness.

I understand being upset about not being accepted into a profitable and well-established event. If I were not accepted into the market, it would undoubtedly be a setback, and I would not be happy. However, sometimes we have to take what is hard, create new opportunities from disappointment, and most importantly, be gracious. Someday, I hope I outgrow the market. To me, that is a measure of success. When that time comes, I will be grateful for the opportunity it provided, the friends and connections I made, and the success I was afforded because of it. I will give those who come after me as much support as I can.

If I'm to be completely transparent, I don't get accepted into all the events related to the market to which I apply. Was I a bit taken aback and disappointed? Of course, I was. Did I miss the opportunity to make connections and income? Of course, I did. However, after my initial disappointment, I realized that the soapers who were accepted didn't participate in as many markets as I did, nor did they have as many opportunities as I did. I also rationalized that I applied at the end of the application time frame, and it was probably on a first-come, first-served basis. This realization led me to believe that there is room for all of us to be successful. Of course, there were a few moments of panicked questioning about whether I had done something wrong, whether I had offended someone, or whether I was not meeting the standards. However, not for a moment did I blame someone else for my situation.

The point of my blog post, dear reader, is to encourage you to be open-minded enough to realize that you may not have all the necessary information before jumping on the cancel culture bandwagon. Sometimes, those claiming to be victims play a role in their disappointment. There are reasons for rules, and although we may not like them, rules are in place for a reason. Above all, be gracious, recognize that your actions have an impact, and self-reflection, along with taking responsibility for your actions, is a valuable virtue. When faced with disappointment, don't view it as a loss, but as an opportunity for new success. Taking down others with you because you are disappointed is never the answer. An eye for an eye only leads to blindness. -Gandhi

On this hot and steamy summer day, stay safe, be smart, don't be a hater, be gracious, recognize that you may have a larger role in life's disappointments than you would like to believe, accept that, grow from it, and go on to do something extraordinary with it. You're only stuck if you allow yourself to be stuck. Of course, keep washing your hands.