Hump Day Takes On A New Meaning At Our Farm
Our elusive but beautiful boy, Abu.
If you follow us on Facebook, you may have noticed an uptick in our posts. Also, you may have noticed we are posting “stories” and “reels.” The Bibbed Wonder and I remain lost and clueless regarding most social media topics. We have been blessed with the talents of one up-and-coming marketing major and future marketing director for The Smiling Goat Soap Company, Miss Morgan, aka Morgenmuffel. On a side note, a morgenmuffel is a German word for someone who hates mornings. This term fits our Miss Morgan to a T. When she arrives for work in the morning, she doesn’t really talk or laugh until after 10 a.m. It could also be the antics of one bib overall wearing wonder buns annoys her to no end at such uncivilized hours. Regardless, Morgan has been a real asset to us this summer.
Along with taking over social media, she also is responsible for gathering social media content. She has to take pictures, do videos, and create posts. Taking photos of the animals is one of the main focuses of our social media content. I would much rather see pictures of my goats than put my face on social media. However, taking photos of the animals requires Morgan to get up close and personal with the goats, ducks, geese, chickens, and little pigs. I don’t allow Morgan to go in with the big pigs. The Bibbed Wonder says they are harmless, but I have experienced enough bladder leaks to say otherwise…sigh.
It’s hard to believe, but we have reached that time of year again when Abu, the billy goat, is feeling amorous, and the girls are receptive to his grossness, I mean wooing. Once again, Abu is walking around with his lips curled, waggling his tongue, and peeing all over his beard…insert gagging noise. Even when Abu is in rut, he is personable, gentle, and friendly. He has never used his horns to hit us or shown aggression in any way. He is a good boy, and I like having him around. It helps that he throws gorgeous babies.
Abu has never been anything but respectful, that is until now. For whatever reason, Abu has taken a real liking to Miss Morgan. When she enters the goat’s area, he waggles his tongue at her, curls his lips, and follows her with no regard for her personal space. He jumps on her if she stops suddenly or turns her back on him. Miss Morgan finds this disturbing and somewhat frightening. Of course, The Bibbed Wonder has an absolute field day with this. He makes up funny little songs like, “Who has two thumbs and gets humped by Abu? Morgan Stretch Pants!” All sung to the tune of Sponge Bob Square Pants…sigh. On a side note, Miss Morgan has an affinity for stretch pants. Not that The Bibbed Wonder has room to judge anyone’s fashion choices, but he entertains himself at Miss Morgan’s expense. In order to work with us, one must have a twisted sense of humor and very thick skin. To Morgan’s credit, she does not hold back on giving The Bibbed Wonder a dose of his own medicine. They spend the day exchanging verbal barbs and thinking of ways to outwit the other. They are exhausting.
Although humorous and absolute comedic gold, we have decided Miss Morgan must stay away from the goat pasture until Abu is moved to his private pasture. He seems to be infatuated with Morgan, and though mostly harmless, one never knows. It would not be at all acceptable to have Morgan assaulted by our billy goat. Abu will have to find love within his species and forget Miss Morgan. It’s heartbreaking, but love often is such. It doesn’t mean the jokes will stop; I’m sure Eric will continue with his annoying antics and twisted sense of humor. Morgan is a worthy opponent, and my money is on her for putting The Bibbed Wonder in his place. There’s never a dull moment here at the farm!
On this hot July Wednesday, also called Hump Day, stay safe, be smart, don’t get humped by a billy goat, and keep washing your hands…especially in the event you do get humped by a billy goat. Billy goats are gross.