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I'm Melting!




Creature comforts aren't appreciated until they go away, and I realize how very soft I am. If I had to live in the 1800s, I would be a hot mess. Literally, I am a hot mess. Our air conditioner AND furnace decided to go kaput simultaneously. This is to be expected; all the systems in the house are nearing the 30-year mark. However, why do things always stop working when they are needed most? For example, the air conditioner died out during the hot spell a few weeks ago. Why could it not have died when it was a comfortable 70 degrees? Why could it not have died a few years ago when air conditioners were fully stocked, and Covid was not creating a shortage of everything? Sigh.


Now, we are without air conditioning, and I am sweating, which I hate to do. When I am hot and uncomfortable, I am a bit on the whiney side. I know my whining is hard to imagine, but it's true. Everything seems like a huge inconvenience, and I am rather vocal about my discomfort. For example, carrying laundry upstairs and putting it away is far too challenging a task when it is a million degrees. The people I live with have to pull folded clothes out of baskets in the first-floor laundry room. Oh, such an inconvenience! Insert eye roll here. I am so tired of The Bibbed Wonder demanding socks in his drawer and bibs in his closet. Jordan told him, "Baby Jesus loves an independent man!" This made me laugh out loud because that is a direct quote from The Bibbed Wonder when The Bean or I ask for help.


Also, cooking anything is out of the question when I am hot, and it is a trillion degrees in the house. If I had air conditioning, I would happily cook or bake cookies. Now that I am suffering in the sweltering heat wilting like a flower in the sun, melting AND sweating, microwaving a Hot Pocket is as good as it's going to get. Seriously, who wants a hot meal when it's a trillion degrees? Why isn't eating ice cream for dinner acceptable? Sigh.


I announce every day that it is above 80 degrees that I am dying. Nobody takes me seriously. I believe that when I finally do expire from the heat, they will merely step over me and roll their eyes. The people I live with are so rude. I also announce that I cannot: cook, vacuum, do dishes, think, walk, or talk because I am too hot. If The Bean asks me a question about Tic Toc or Stranger Things, I can't even begin to formulate an answer. She thinks I'm mean. She announces I am mean. I tell her, "Of course I am mean. It's a gagillion degrees!" The demands are just unreasonable. Sigh.


On a positive note, our new air conditioner has been delivered. Our old air conditioner has been removed, that is progress. Hopefully, the new system will be installed by the end of the week. If I live long enough to see it installed, that is. It will be 86 degrees today, and I am dying, you know? Sigh. As always, dear reader, stay safe, be smart, stay cool and try to refrain from whining, and of course, wash your hands.

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