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Singing My Own Tune




Often, I walk around in a cloud of naivete and confusion. I like to sing. However, I am a terrible singer, I mean TERR-I-BLE. The fact that I can’t sing does not stop me, oh no. I belt it out in the car, alone in the house, and with my favorite little buddy. When we sing, there is no judgment. We know we aren’t good, we just enjoy singing. We sing, way off-key together long and loudly. Not only do I sing way off-key, but I also often get the words wrong. I mean, REALLY wrong. Also, I often miss the true meaning of a song’s lyrics…thus the naivete and confusion.


I have listened to songs for years, decades even, and I had no idea the true meaning of the lyrics. Take, for instance, Tom Petty’s Last Dance With Mary Jane. For decades, I believed Tom was singing about a dead girl from his hometown. Nope. It turns out he is actually singing about weed, marijuana, Mary Jane. Sigh. I had no idea. The song, Who Let The Dogs Out, is not about four-footed dogs. Did you know that? It’s about ugly women in a club. I had no idea, seriously none. I like the song Voodoo by Godsmack. I told Eric we should add this to Jordan’s Halloween playlist. He cocked his head and looked at me like I was insane. I said, “What? It’s about Voodoo.” He said, “You’re cute. It’s about heroin, buddy.” The snake bite isn’t about a snake. It’s about shooting up.” I’m officially banned from adding music to our daughter’s playlist. Sigh.


Until recently, it has been my bib overall wearing wonder buns job to educate me about the true meaning of the lyrics of a song. When a song comes on that I like or sing along to; he will say, “You know this song is about….?” Sometimes I try to fake it, and I’m attitude-y and indignant, but he sees through my charade, looks at me, smiles, and says, “Did you really know, or are you just pretending you know?” Sigh, he knows me so well; it’s annoying sometimes. However, Jordan has taken it upon herself to inform me when I get the words wrong to a popular song. The Charlie Puth song, Attention, for example. I said to my bean, why is Charlie Puth singing about a turtle on his knee? She looked genuinely confused and then laughed as though that were the funniest question she had ever heard. Once she settled down, she told me he’s not saying “turtle on my knee.” He’s actually saying, “throwing dirt upon my name.” Hmmm, that makes more sense.


Other songs I have been very wrong about include CCR’s, Out My Back Door. The lyrics are not, “Rocky P. Balboa was playing with his gland.” The correct lyrics are. “Elephants with tambourines were playing in the band.” I was way off on that one. Steve Miller Band’s The Joker, I can’t put in print what I thought he said. Sigh. It’s a real thing for me. The Bibbed Wonder often says life with me is an adventure. I’m pretty sure he’s not complimentary when he says this. We had a little piglet named Paul, who had a misshapen head. Paul had a rather high forehead for a pig. Paul would get stuck behind a steel gate every single day. When we would move the gate, and he would run out, it was like a new experience for him every time. Eric would say every day, “Life’s an adventure for that fella!” I’m pretty sure he is comparing me to Paul, the piglet.


Life with me may very well be one big out-of-tune adventure, but I entertain myself and take great joy singing the wrong lyrics way off-key. One bib overall wearing wonder buns never had it so good, insert wink. I hope your day is filled with joy, whether it’s off-key or not. Remember, dear reader, stay safe, be smart, take pleasure in the music, make every day an adventure, and keep washing your hands.

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