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The Tortures Of A Non-Morning Person




This morning, getting up and around for the day was painful. Daylight Savings Time is always a painful time for me. I am not a morning person. Morning is my least favorite time of the day. On school days, I awaken at five to have an hour of solitude, coffee drinking, and news watching alone before it is time to awaken The Bean. My bib overall wearing counterpart also awakens at five. While I stumble about grousing and making coffee, he is his happy, somewhat annoying self singing, dancing, passing gas, and being generally happy, which only heightens my disdain for mornings.


This morning, I was indeed feeling the loss of that hour of sleep. On the other hand, the Bibbed Wonder came running down the stairs, dancing and fist-pumping for the start of the day. Is it wrong that I considered tripping him as he danced around the kitchen? I was so grumpy that even my favorite creature on earth, Buster, did not want to sit beside me. I fell back to sleep on the couch with a cup of coffee in my hand, only to be startled awake by The Bibbed Wonder returning to the house from doing the barn chores. It was time to awaken The Bean.


The Bean is a lot like me in the morning. I consider our reactions to mornings to be normal. There is no dancing, no fist-pumping, no laughing at ourselves and our gross bodily functions. We walk around in a disgruntled state until our breakfast kicks in, and in my case, caffeine is coursing through my veins. We don’t speak or want spoken to until our blood sugar is raised and we are caffeinated. We behave like normal, rational, not annoying people.


Being married to a morning person is cruel and unusual punishment. Eric has always been a morning person. When we were first married, it was cute and kind of endearing. After almost two decades of marriage, it is still kind of endearing. He loves to start his day; daylight savings time be damned. He is almost unaffected by the change in time. I don’t know how he does it. I, on the other hand, have never been a morning person. If I weren’t married to a morning person, I would stay up late. Before we were married and I lived alone, I did stay up late. I would do laundry, clean, vacuum, and read until midnight or so. It felt like I got a lot more done then. Now, I get up early, and it takes me a few hours to really get moving. I can usually be up and rearing to go by 8 o’clock. With Jordan being in school and Eric waking with the rooster, I can’t do anything that makes noise after nine. Sometimes I read or watch tv until ten, but I usually end up regretting it. No, mornings are not for me and Daylight Savings Time exacerbates my disdain for mornings.


I think I am in agreeance with doing away with Daylight Savings Time. The Amish don’t practice it, and they seem to do just fine. Hawaii doesn’t observe it; that is one more reason to find a goat farm in Hawaii and live happily ever after. I might be able to be a morning person in Hawaii. I think the modern world would be just fine with the banishment of Daylight Savings Time. However, until that happens, I will spend the next week complaining with The Bean, scowling at The Bibbed Wonder, and anxiously awaiting my afternoon nap every day. On a very positive note, Spring is only one week away. That is something to dance around about and put a smile on one’s face.


I hope, dear reader, you are adjusting to the time change. As always, stay safe, be smart, don’t harm the morning people in your life; sadly, it is frowned upon, and keep washing your hands.

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