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Who Has Two Thumbs and Burns Down the Woods?





Hanging out with my bean is like hanging out with a good friend. Well, a good friend who doesn't drink coffee, shop for clothes or like to eat anywhere but McDonald's, but a good friend nonetheless. Saturday, we had a girl's day, and it was a much-needed break from the usual routine. Much to The Bibbed Wonders chagrin, we actually went to a store. We went to a store where we did not NEED anything. We were just browsing and seeing what struck our fancy. Eric was thoroughly convinced we were going to acquire Covid and come home to infect him...insert eye roll. I'm not sure what this man will do when the pandemic is over, and he again has to leave the farm. However, I digress.


The Bean and I were very cautious. We wore our masks, we had hand sanitizer on our person, we stayed far away from people, and we ate in our car, not in the restaurant. We only went to Indiana, but it was nice to get out, not have a schedule, and enjoy being together. We came home feeling refreshed, energized, and relaxed. It was time well spent; that dear reader is where the good day ended.


It rained here on Friday night, but the winds were calm on Saturday. After I put my purchases away, I went to the studio to see what my bibbed-wearing buddy was doing. He had made Lilac soap all by himself. He does have a creative side; he just doesn't show it. We had a mountain of boxes that needed to be disposed of, so I decided with the calm winds and the recent rain, it should be safe to burn the boxes in our burn pit at the property's edge. Eric got our Ranger, helped me load the boxes, made sure I had a lighter, and said, "You're not going to burn all of this at once, are you?" This dear reader is where The Bibbed Wonder and I are opposites. Where he is like a fretting, overly cautious, little old lady, I am full of impulse, bravado and have the common sense of a preschooler. He drives five mph under the speed limit at all times. On the other hand, I drive at least five mph over the speed limit at all times. He pauses before he acts and then often doesn't act where I act and then deal with the consequences later. Sometimes, his approach is waaaaaaaay better.


I did indeed unload the entire mountain of boxes into the burn pit. I did light them afire and then think, "Hmmm, this is a pretty big fire. Perhaps I should not have burnt all these boxes at one time." Then I watched incredulously as the fire escaped the pit area and took light of the dried grass and leaves. I gave myself a burn border of caution; the fire exceeded my imagined boundary. I then had a limit of "I might be in trouble," the fire exceeded that border as well. I then set a boundary of "Bring water and a shovel, fast!" and the fire exceeded that border too. I tried to send a text message to The Bibbed Wonder, but it would not send. I tried to call, but it would not connect. I reluctantly left my slow-burning inferno and raced to the garage on the Ranger. The Bibbed Wonder was already filling buckets when I got there. You see, dear reader, the man knows me. He knows me well enough to know that I should not be permitted to burn things alone in a dry wooded area. God love him; he believes one day, I will grow up and make adult decisions.


We spent a solid half-hour or so putting out the flames. I stamped out flames, dumped water, and looked for smoldering spots. Eric used a rake to rake away all the dried leaves, grass, and twigs. Crisis averted, but it was a frightening reminder of how quickly things can get out of control. My bib overall wearing golden girl never said a word of criticism. He just put his arm around me and asked, "Who has two thumbs and burns down the woods?" I sheepishly answered, "Me." Then the jokes really began to roll. Although the fire was well under control, I decided to keep two water buckets with me and stay to make sure there were no smoldering leaves to recatch. The Heavy B and I sat on the Ranger until nightfall to make sure I didn't destroy any woodland. I then took the two remaining buckets of water and extinguished the fire for good. I spent the evening at the mercy of bad jokes, mockery, and a plethora of new nicknames. The favorite seemed to be "Smokey the Bear says, 'Only you can prevent forest fires.' Teenie says, 'Hold my beer!'" Sigh...I earned it this time, dear reader.


As always, stay safe, stay smart, be careful when burning outdoors, and keep washing your hands.

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