Ignore, Ignore, Ignore

We all face detractors in our lifetime. Whether it is the childhood bully who steals our lunch, a group of mean girls in high school, a jealous and combative co-worker, or perhaps a person close to us, one would expect to be in our corner but simply is not. Detractors will arise in every scenario to dissuade, create doubt, or discourage us from our path. If we give these detractors power over us, we have permitted them to win. How one responds to said detractors can be the difference between success and failure.

In my experience, I have noted several forms of detractors. One is what I call a front-door detractor. A front-door detractor is a hostile individual who blasts you, your ideas, or your business in your very presence. They will openly slander you and your product, post negative comments on social media, and treat you unkindly to your face. Front-door detractors are simply adult bullies. They use intimidation, gossip, and ill will as their weapons of choice.

Then, there are the backdoor detractors. A backdoor detractor has the same motivation as a front-door detractor but uses covert methods. This person may disguise themselves as an ally, an equal in your chosen field, or even a friendly acquaintance. This type of detractor can be far more challenging to deal with because they gaslight, constantly making you question your perception of the situation.

Lastly, there is the friend or family member who acts as a detractor. This person hides behind the ruse of care and concern for your well-being. They will say things like, "I'm just concerned for you. You work so hard. I worry you will wear yourself out," or "You should have just stayed where you were. You are crazy to think this will ever work. I only say this because I have your best interests at heart." This person doesn't support you, buy your products, or help promote your business. Instead, they hide behind worry and concern for you, making you question your every move.

If we allow detractors into our headspace, we give them the upper hand. The energy we spend being angry, insulted, questioning, and second-guessing is energy that deflects from our goal and our success. We cannot give 100% to our dreams and make them a reality if we are constantly dealing with detractors. Thus, the detractor wins. Their plan is complete, their goal is realized, and you have done the dirty work for them.

I recently spoke with a dear friend with a rather aggressive front door detractor. My friend is a small business owner who works tirelessly to build and create an excellent product and makes strides to grow and improve. Her detractor appears to know every move she makes in her business. She told me she feels like she is under surveillance because this person has the uncanny ability to replicate many of her ideas and products before she makes them public. Her detractor comments negatively on her social media, posts aggressive/confrontational posts on her own social media, and bad mouths her to anyone who will listen. My friend is quite beside herself in this situation. She called me asking for advice and insight on handling this person.

When I began my business in 2016, it was a creative outlet and a therapeutic activity that turned into a small side hustle. The company has grown organically through word of mouth from my wonderful soap family, support from other small business owners, and simple hard work. In 2019, when we made the jump as a family to turn this into our full-time job, we faced many detractors. Some of my staunchest supporters declared we could never make this work as our full-time source of income. They would say things like, "Well, you have to try, but don't be surprised when it folds." We were also told that we just "needed to get this out of our system because this is where we were in our journey, and it would serve us for the time being, but it is not a sustainable business." There was also the ever-popular "You guys must be crazy!" These comments came from people I loved and respected.

Call it sheer bullheadedness, tenacity, or strong-willed; we have stuck it out, and to date, we have made it work. In recent years, we have had our fair share of detractors. Whether it is single-minded determination, simply not caring, an innate inability to participate in shallow competition, or complete naivete, I do an excellent job of shutting out detractors. My motto is: Head down, blinders on, stay in my own lane. If I am focused on my goals and aspirations, I don't have time to give attention to detractors. In my simple approach to life, I cannot succeed if I am giving my energy to what someone else is doing. I don't have time to stalk websites, copy products, or spread gossip. If someone does this to me, they will eventually fall away because they are giving their energy to spreading negativity about me and not focusing on their business.

My dear friend Jane, who gives sage and sound advice, once told me the most powerful response is no response: ignore, ignore, ignore. I have applied this life lesson to my personal life and business. It is the most effective approach for detractors and nay-sayers, and it indeed works. I shared this advice with my friend as well. Her competitor will eventually fall away. This person simply cannot sustain her business while focusing on a smear campaign of my friend's business. It requires too much energy and effort. If my friend were to fall into this ill-fated trap, she too would fail. There is the old saying if you give one enough rope, they will hang themself. There is no need to suit up for combat with a detractor; they will eventually hang themselves with their own rope. It takes time and patience, but detractors will subsequently fall away.

I am a firm believer in energy, karma, or whatever you may call it. We get back tenfold what we put out into the universe. I don't wish ill will, failure, or struggles on anyone. If you are working to build something of your own, following your dream, and making strides to improve, I will be your loudest cheerleader. I will support you, share your ideas, and do my best to help you succeed. If you act as a detractor, I will simply put my head down, adjust my blinders, stay in my own lane, and ignore your efforts to distract me from my goals. Just think what a wonderful world this would be if we could all simply ignore, ignore, ignore.

On this lovely spring-like day, stay safe, be smart, stay in your own lane with your head down and your blinders on, and ignore, ignore, ignore.

Ungrateful Gander

Geese are not nice creatures. You may remember my gimpy goose, Goostavia. Goostavia had an old injury that limited her mobility as she got older. Even though I babied her, gave her treats, carried her to and from the pond, lifted her into her house at night, and lifted her out in the morning, she would continually hiss at me and flap her wings. However, she never nipped me. As sassy as the geese are, I have never been nipped by a goose...until last night.

Raylee noticed a goose flapping its wings near the electric fence as we sat eating dinner. She asked, "What's wrong with that bird?" I watched it for a minute and realized the poor thing was caught in the electric fence, which was on. I ran out to the goose's aid as fast as my little legs could carry me, which was not very fast or graceful. Once I got to the goose, I saw it was the old gander, and his wings were caught between two live wires. His neck was stretched out, his wings were hooked on the fence, his little goose tongue was sticking out, and he was honking loudly in fear and pain.

Without thinking, I reached down to untangle him from the wires. I immediately felt the electrical zap. I hate being shocked—actually, I hate the surprise of being shocked. I swore under my breath, "Ow! F*** a duck!" I then ran to the side of the barn and turned off the fencer. Now, inside the fence, I was behind the tangled gander. He turned as I approached and gave a long, loud hiss. I'm used to the geese hissing at me when I am near. Regardless of whether I provide them with food or treats, they always hiss at me and come running at me with their heads down in a threatening way. Sigh, they are ungrateful creatures.

I spoke quietly to my entangled gander, trying to calm him down. Now that he wasn't continuously being zapped with a strong electrical current, he wasn't fighting as hard. As I slowly approached him and knelt to begin untangling his wings, he whipped his head around and nipped me on the cheek. He was so fast that before I could yelp in pain or swear, he nipped me again, this time on the chin. I couldn't get away from his biting beak fast enough. Before I knew what happened, he had a mouthful of my hair and pulled it. I yelped, "Owwww! Let go of my hair, you nasty little a**hole!" Ungrateful indeed!

I allowed him to continue to pull my hair because that seemed like a better option than biting me in the face. As I struggled to untangle his wings, one at a time, he just continued to pull on my hair and tried to flap his wings. Finally, I put one hand around his neck so he couldn't turn and bite me, and I gently dislodged his wings from the wire. Once his wings were loose, I gathered him into my arms with one hand around his neck and carried him, honking and struggling to the other side of the fence. When I placed him on the ground, he turned to nip me again, flapped his large wings at me, and then wandered off, honking and complaining. "You're welcome!" I called. I was answered with an angry honk.

During this stressful and chaotic endeavor to save my goose from being cooked on the electric fence, my family sat and watched me. Not only did they watch me, but they also took a video and laughed uproariously about it. The Bean finally came out after it was all said and done. She said she was checking to see if I needed anything, but really, she only laughed at the dirty beak marks on my cheek and chin. She then pointed out that my hair was in a damp clump hanging in my face. Sigh, why do I like any of them?

Jenna continued to play the video over and over and giggled at the part where I got shocked when I touched the goose. They then decided that the part where I carried the goose to the safety of the other side of the fence was hilarious and continued to replay that part. I'm not quite sure why I help, like, or spend time around any of them- the ungrateful geese or my rude family. However, I do indeed like the rude jokesters and grumpy geese. I'm a glutton for punishment, I suppose.

On this lovely, spring-like day, stay safe, be smart, help all creatures in need, even if they are ungrateful, think of creative ways to punish your family for laughing at you while you are on a rescue mission, and keep washing your hands.

Tuesday Spotlight: Orange Sandalwood

Today, our spotlight is shining upon one of my personal favorites: Orange Sandalwood. I love this warm, soft scent. We blend sweet orange essential oil with warm, woodsy sandalwood to create this fresh, smooth, and mildly earthy scent. Not only does this soap smell wonderful, but it is nourishing, moisturizing, and cleansing. As always, we begin with our fresh, raw goat's milk. We add skin-loving oils to create a luxurious, long-lasting bar. For this soap, we also add a bit of activated charcoal to help pull toxins, fight odor, and cleanse your skin.

As always, the savings are exclusive to the website; no promo code is needed, and the savings will be applied at checkout. Today is an excellent day for savings. We are offering our limited-time bundle of three new soaps for $20 until midnight tonight, and you can save on Orange Sandalwood soap and moisturizer. It's a good time to stock up, try our new scents, or purchase an affordable gift. On this lovely spring-like day, stay safe, be smart, enjoy the savings, and keep washing your hands.