I Can't Become "That Mom"

I have a confession, dear reader. I am a bad friend. Not in the sense that I do things to hurt people or take advantage of people. No, I am a bad friend in the sense that I let way too much time pass without reaching out, making time, making plans, or making an effort to get together with friends. I will text friends regularly. I will even go so far as to have an actual phone conversation with friends once in a very great while. I hate to talk on the phone. However, I am absolutely terrible about getting together with friends. I have decided I need to change this about myself. I need to push myself out of my comfort zone and actually leave the farm to spend time with the people I enjoy doing things I like to do.

I am taking strides to improve my communication with friends. To date, I have had lunch with two friends. I have a standing lunch date with my friend Jane. We sit and schedule our monthly lunch date at the end of each current lunch date. This works well for me. I then put the date in my messages and go home to write it on my good old Mary Engelbreit paper calendar. I don't use a digital calendar; I forget to check it.

Before the COVID-19 pandemic, we used to have Sunday gatherings with my uncles. We would gather in the garage, have a potluck, and sit and catch up over dinner. It was my favorite time of the week. Our little group expanded to include our elderly neighbors, Jim and Mary Lou. Once COVID-19 hit, we stopped our weekly visits, and we never reinstated them. Our little group has disbanded. My Uncle Brian and Aunt Kelly moved to Florida to be closer to their girls and grandchildren. Sadly, my Uncle Chuck, Jim, and Mary Lou have all passed away. My Uncle Vince now works away during the week. Life has moved forward, changes have occurred that can't be undone, and time has slipped away. Life happens, I guess.

It has hit me with the force of a hurricane that in a mere two years, my darling girl will more than likely go away to college. If I don't do things to keep myself busy, I will be a sloppy, puddle of emotions and be one of those pathetic moms who cry and walk around in a dazed state, missing her child. I can't do that to myself, my girl, or my husband. So, dear reader, I need other distractions, other connections before I am an emotional mess. Yes, the farm, the animals, and the business keep me busier than I would like to be. However, I need to make connections or reconnect with friends to keep my mind occupied, stay involved, and keep myself interesting.

When I am hurt or sad, I tend to isolate myself. I can't do that. I will drive The Bibbed Wonder crazy. He needs me to have friends as much as I need them. Jordan will definitely need me to have friends, or I will indeed be that mom who pesters her child while she is away at school, and she looks at her phone only to hit silence rather than talk to me. I really don't want to be that mom. So, I am trying to prepare for it now.

GramBarb is my role model for being a woman of a certain age. GramBarb plays cards twice a week with two different card clubs. I am not a card player, but I can read books. I would really like to join or start a book club. Hosting meetings would be something I enjoy. Reading books and discussing them would be something I really enjoy. Finding a group to get involved with that takes me off the farm would be good for me. I'm just not sure what kind of group I would enjoy. The local historical society keeps popping up on social media, and they pique my interest. However, I believe the older I get, the more socially awkward I become. I'm not confident that my weird little self can actually join a group. I also believe I would enjoy volunteering at the local library. Again, it will take a lot for me to force myself into a social setting and join a group. Sigh. Perhaps there is an introverted hobbit's club I can join?

So, dear reader, I am on a quest to be a better friend. I am making an effort to reconnect with people I enjoy. Making time for joyful activities is not my strong suit. I never host dinners or gatherings. Frankly, I am too tired to even think about doing something regularly. My weekends are tied up with live shows and markets. My little overactive brain can only "people" for so many hours a day before it gives out. However, at least once a month, I will try to connect with a friend and have dinner or coffee. It needs to happen for the health and well-being of everyone. I don't want to become "that mom."

On this gorgeous September day, stay safe, be smart, don't become "that person," connect with people who make you happy, and keep washing your hands.