Yesterday marked sixteen years since my dad passed. I never believed I would live this long without hearing his chuckle, seeing those twinkly blue eyes, and hearing that voice that said things to make me laugh or feel better. But indeed, sixteen years have passed, and time keeps moving forward, moving us through various phases of our lives.
It’s strange how when you lose someone, your world stops for a while, but the world outside your world keeps moving forward. When my grief was raw and fresh, I didn’t know how I would go on without my dad. I couldn’t imagine a life without his guidance, comfort, and love. However, here I am sixteen years later, and like it or not, life has gone on without him. He now has a thirteen-year-old granddaughter he has never met. A child that, although not a blood connection, feels the importance of continuing his legacy and honoring him.
Sometimes I sit and reflect on how odd it is that when we pass, the world that was ours, the people we love, and the things we hold dear continue to move forward without us. The impact of our life continues to live on in those we love and those who love us. Lives are never the same once the loss has occurred. The world shifts and changes but continues to go on without us.
I believe that somewhere, my dad continues to watch over me. I believe that my dad and Eric’s dad had an active role in sending my daughter to us. I also believe that although he is not here physically, he is with me in spirit when times are tough and when times are good. Somewhere, he continues to root for me to succeed and celebrate when things go well. Although time keeps moving forward, not a day goes by that I don’t wish he were here to give me that raised eyebrow look of annoyance when I screw up or give my hand that squeeze when I need him most.
Sixteen years feels like a lifetime. On this first day of August, stay safe, be smart, keep moving forward, and keep washing your hands.