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The First Man Blog of ‘24

Happy New Year. Upper management declared yesterday a holiday and gave us all the day off. The fact that we stayed up until after midnight the night before more than likely had something to do with it as well. I have no idea how anyone can make that a more than once-a-year occurrence.

With the start of the new year, it is time for our yearly cold weather traditions to start here at the farm. Every year, when it gets below freezing, we begin the hunt to relocate to a warmer climate. Last year, it was Belize. Property was cheap, resources were plentiful, and murder was a real thing. It wasn’t the fact that murder existed as much as the fact it was described as grizzly. This year, we are leaning towards Puerto Rico. We will look at online listings of properties for sale in Puerto Rico for the next two months. We will lose interest in the southern migration until next year, when it starts to warm up. After all, two or three months of cold weather isn’t so bad when you consider we don’t have earthquakes, tornadoes, poisonous snakes, or grizzly murders.

The official list of goals for the new year is also a tradition. I should have a mile-long list of self-improvement, business goals, and all-around improvements. However, my main goal for 2024 is to get a bunch of followers on Instagram. I do not want to be a social media guru. I see no value in having many followers say we are “somewhat of a big deal.” I would love to be able to shut down all of the folks looking to “collaborate,” a.k .a. get free stuff with the response; we have more followers, so give us free stuff. It has become a monthly occurrence that we get a message that always starts with, Hey there! Blah, blah, blah. We would love to collaborate with you and send products and money to us. I don’t know if schools teach how shopping works, but it is not like that. It is the opposite of that.

Another goal I have is to stop complaining and move on. I know that all fast food is terrible. Nothing is good about a burger wrapped in paper and chucked into a feed sack thrown out a window at you. It is fast, and it used to be cheap. The cheap is gone, and now it is overpaying for less than good. I have to admit that I have a weak spot for Big Macs. The last time we were busy, and Tina had to make a run to town, she returned with a Big Mac for me. I could not believe how thin the patties of beef had become. I have been handed business cards that were thicker than the beef. Basically, I was eating more bun and lettuce than actual beef. I have decided that they are not cutting in 2024. I will admit that even though I am not a fan of Burger King, nothing beats the Double Whopper when I crave a fast-food burger.

I should also make it a goal to become fit. We have become friends with a local vendor at the market that spends a lot of time in a gym. I swear that 90% of his sales are due to his physical appearance and less on his apples and pies. But I have also read that “Dad Bods” is becoming rather stylish and do not want to go through all that effort just to be stuck in last year’s popular body style. So, before I can write about becoming fit on the list, I have come up with a reason to cross it off.

2023 has officially marked the start of little boys showing up at the farm. It has been rough to wrap my head around the fact that my Minnie-Me is not much more than a year away from driving and has discovered boys. I knew this day would come as soon as I saw the sonogram. Nothing prepares you for the day. I keep telling myself that God has a sense of humor, which is why we have daughters. I know that someday I will pay the price for being a smartass to everyone that I ever worked with who fussed about having a wedding to pay for. My response was always, you knew since she was dried off, this day was coming. I never knew that the day would sneak up as fast as it appears to be sneaking up here. I am hopeful that is at least ten years down the road.

With a great year behind us and the start of another great year ahead of us, we are more than thankful for all of the love and support we have. In a million years, I would never have thought we could keep our lights on, milking goats and making soap. I suppose that is why my list of resolutions is basically non-existent. We are doing what we love to do. Until next month, stay safe and wash on.

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