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  • Writer's pictureTina

The Legally Blind Christmas Squirrel

Christmas 2021 is in the books, and I would say overall, it was a wonderful day. The Bean had us up at 3:00 a.m., but The Bibbed Wonder was able to stave off her fully waking us until 5:00 a.m. Jordan declared this the best Christmas ever, but she does that every year. Santa did a great job of bringing the gifts she wanted. I did above average on the four gifts she got from us. I have a rhyme I follow for Christmas gifts: Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. It keeps the chaos to a minimum, and I don’t overbuy useless trinkets.

Although Santa did a great job, surprisingly, The Bibbed Wonder knocked it out of the park for gift giving this year. Eric is renowned for terrible gift-giving practices. I’m not being rude. It’s just how it is. He knows it, I know it, we both know not a lot of time, effort, or energy goes into it. Gift-giving just isn’t his thing. Take, for instance, our first anniversary. He had a fence building company at the time. He is and always has been a workaholic. He thinks of nothing but work, his job, his schedule. There simply isn’t a lot of thought for anything else. Of course, he waited until the very day of our anniversary to give any thought to a gift. He was contracted to build fence at a sheep farm. He had left the house at the crack of dawn and returned home after dark. He was late for dinner, he was exhausted and a bit cranky, and my gift on our first anniversary was a dead sheep pelt. Yes, you read that correctly. I got a sheepskin for our first anniversary. He was there, it was available, and he got it for a reasonable price. Sigh. This was only the beginning of the bad gifts to come.

However, this year, he thought of a fantastic gift for Jordan all by himself with no input from me. Jordan has been working on an idea for a movie for quite some time. She has a script written, stage directions, special effects, and a cast and crew. The only thing she is lacking is a “good camera.” She is saving for a camera but has lofty goals for film shots and videography. On a side note, again, I know she’s mine, and I’m biased, but this kid amazes me. Anyhow, she has been talking about drone footage for her film and has been trying to find a friend who has a drone that would be willing to take pictures for her movie. Most of the drones are toys; no one has one that has the capabilities she needs. The Bibbed Wonder had the brilliant idea to get her a drone for her movie. Not only was I impressed that he thought of this, but I was also impressed with the thought and effort that went into finding just the right drone for her. He did a lot of research, comparison shopping, and reading. When the drone arrived weeks ago, I was impressed he bought it ahead of time.

On Christmas day, The Bean was beside herself with excitement. When she opened the gift from her dad, it was the reaction he had hoped for. They spent the day figuring out how to get the drone to work. At one point, they admitted defeat and thought it would have to be sent back. However, once they got out the owner’s manual and read it, they figured it out in no time. It’s amazing what a little time, patience, and reading can accomplish. Yesterday, they spent the entire day together in the field above the house, practicing flying the drone.

Once they got the hang of it, they began to torment everything in sight. They chased the chickens, the geese, the goats, the pigs, Chubby, and me. As I was burning garbage, they flew it as close to me as they dared when armed with a large stick. I wouldn’t hit the drone with a stick, but I put on a good performance. They were satisfied with my level of annoyance and left me alone after a while. The video footage and capabilities of this thing are pretty amazing. We could see almost the entirety of the farm. It can zoom in very close, and the picture is crystal clear. It has settings that just amaze me. It can be programmed to follow a map, find a target, and record footage. Not only do they have plans to use it for The Bean’s movie, but they also plan to use it for the website and Facebook posts for the soap business.

I think Eric is enjoying the drone as much as Jordan is at this point. Once she was awake, he was like a little kid; he insisted she get dressed and go outside to play drone with him. I love their bond and relationship. Although they gang up on me and torment me, they have fun, and I genuinely enjoy watching them together. The Bibbed Wonder gets the points for the best Christmas gift this year, which only proves that even a blind squirrel gets the nut once in a while. My squirrel is legally blind…sigh.

I hope, dear reader, you had a wonderful Christmas. As always, stay safe, be smart, give a blind squirrel credit where credit is due, and keep washing your hands.

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