Walking Like A Queen

Not the dress The Bean chose, but one of my favorites

I liked this dress too. It reminds me of the original Barbie my mom has.

As time marches forward, the monumental moments of my daughter's life are checked off like one of my infamous to-do lists. When we adopted The Bean, she was so very tiny. She was almost three weeks premature and did not weigh five pounds. She fit into The Bibbed Wonder's hands like a tiny little squirrel. Her diapers looked like something made for baby dolls. She swam in premie-size clothing. I used to look at all the various sizes of clothing we were gifted when she was born and think, "Oh, my goodness! She will never be big enough to wear this!" Indeed, she did grow into each and every size of clothing, not always on schedule, but grow she did.

Now that my darling daughter is sixteen, she is moving through meeting milestones of childhood faster than with what I am comfortable. She turned sixteen, got her learner's permit, is looking at out-of-state colleges, and will attend her first prom in May. This year has been a bit of an overwhelming whirlwind for this adoring momma. The Bibbed Wonder has had to talk me off the ledge of motherhood meltdowns more than once this year. Watching her grow and blossom is a beautifully heartbreaking experience.

On Saturday, The Bean, our dear friend Janet, and I shopped for her prom dress. Let me tell you, dear reader, prom dress shopping is not for the weak! We approached the day without any expectations or schedule. My advice to The Bean was to keep an open mind and try dresses she did not think she would like because you never know how something looks until you try it on and, most of all, enjoy yourself. Try on the dresses she did! At the first shop, she tried on at least ten dresses. Watching her form opinions, be surprised, and try on everything from sleek, form-fitting dresses to mermaid styles to ball gowns was fun. She surprised herself by liking everything she believed she did not want in a dress, which is often the case.

I must say, I have always believed my daughter to be a beautiful young lady, but seeing her in all varieties of dresses made me realize how truly stunning she is. The child looked amazing in every style of dress she tried on. No matter her chosen style, it would not have been a mistake. I appreciate my daughter's physical beauty, but her inner beauty makes me a very proud mom. Let me share a little story with you.

A young lady was also shopping for prom dresses at the first store we visited. This very lovely young woman had an entire entourage: her mom, grandmothers, aunts, or her mother's friends. There were a lot of people and a lot of opinions going on in that party. This very lovely young lady is not built like my daughter, but she is equally as beautiful. She struggled to find dresses that fit, styles she felt comfortable in, and flattering styles. When we arrived, this young lady was in front of the three-way mirror in a gorgeous white dress with pink embroidered flowers. It was a beautiful dress, and it looked lovely on her. Do you know how when a young woman finds "the dress," she gets a particular look? That is the look this young lady had on her face.

However, so many opinions were shared that the young lady soon looked overwhelmed and upset. As we stood waiting for a dressing room, we could not help but overhear the comments being made, and none of them were supportive or flattering. Although none of us said anything about the comments to each other, our sympathy for the young woman was apparent. Janet and I made it a point to compliment the young woman on her dress choice and appearance.

When we were taken to our dressing room, The Bean looked at me with exasperation and whispered, "Did you hear the comments those women were making to that poor girl?" I whispered I did and that I felt terrible for her. My daughter was outraged and said, "She looks beautiful! That dress is gorgeous, and she looks gorgeous! That makes me so angry that they are being so unkind!" When Jordan had donned her first dress, she exited the dressing room, passing the young girl in the hallway. Jordan spoke up, looked the young girl in the eye, and said, "You look gorgeous! Seriously, girl!" The girl smiled and said, "Thanks!"

To add insult to injury, when my daughter walked out in a sleek, fitted purple gown, all the women in the entourage gushed about how gorgeous she looked and how she had a perfect figure. One woman even said to the young lady, "Oh, if only you had a figure like that!" I was astonished and saddened by the comparison. As I looked at the women in the entourage, it was evident that the body type was hereditary. None of the women had any room to make such judgments about this young girl's figure. I pointedly looked at the young lady and told her she looked great in her pale teal gown.

Janet later shared that this poor young girl cried several times in the dress-shopping fiasco. Thank goodness I did not see this. Janet also shared that the women continued to gush about Jordan's appearance long after she left the room. One would think a family of women would have more compassion and understanding for a young girl's feelings than what was being displayed. Seeing this girl struggle and listening to the comments infuriated my daughter, and at one point, she looked at me and said, "They're being mean, and they need to stop!" All the while, she continued to compliment this girl on her dress choices and appearance.

I love my daughter's compassion for others, big heart, and strong convictions. She will hold out her hand, help someone to their feet if they've fallen, and straighten their crown for them while telling them to walk like the queen she knows they are. I take this in stride with my kid; it's just who she is. Later in the evening, I received a message from Janet telling me how impressed she was with Jordan's graciousness and compassion for the young lady at the dress shop. She told me I was doing an excellent job with her. I told Janet I wish I could take credit for my amazing kid, but she is intrinsically strong and compassionate.

My daughter is indeed physically attractive, but her inner beauty makes her genuinely stunning. The Bean has no time for nonsense, drama, or unkindness, and her face often precisely displays what she thinks of someone and their behavior—unfortunately, she inherited this trait from me. Sometimes, I wonder if she is not overly friendly at school or comes across as judgmental, but then I see her in action with her peers and strangers, and I think she is exactly as she needs to be. If The Bean is less than friendly with someone, they have probably earned it.

Checking off one more childhood right of passage from the ever-shortening list was filled with joy and pride. I have no doubt my baby girl will continue to stand firm in her convictions and lift others when she can. Watching her grow, blossom, and continue to understand who she is and wants to be and seeing her forge her path is the best adventure I could ever experience. After this year, we have two more prom dresses to shop for, and then the next significant dress shopping experience will be a wedding dress. However, right now, as when she was an infant, I choose to believe she will never be big enough for that. Gah! I can't go there!

On this lovely spring day, stay safe, be smart, lift others, straighten their crowns, tell them to walk like the queen you know they are, and watch your words; they are powerful, and for the love of all that's holy, think before you speak. Oh, of course, keep washing your hands.