We Can't Have Nuffin' Nice

Paint Eating Patty

When Jordan was little, and we broke something, scratched floors, made a mess, or spilled something, she would look earnest and say, "We can't have nuffin' nice!" She may have heard this from me a time or two when Chubby, then a puppy, would make a mess or chew one of our shoes. Using this phrase has become a running joke in our home. Even now, when someone messes up, one of us will giggle and say, "We can't have nuffin' nice!" The Bean is now sixteen years old, and the mess makers around the farm are usually our animals.

Take, for example, Paint Eating Patty, the chicken. Paint Eating Patty has single-handedly stripped the paint from the garage door. She stands and pecks at it, making a dull thudding noise as she grabs a chip of paint and peels it off the door. The noise is annoying, so I open the door and chase her away, sending her squawking and flustered out into the yard. In a matter of minutes, she returns and pecks the paint off the door again. It has become a game. I am amazed at the level of commitment Paint Eating Patty shows in stripping the paint off the door. I do believe, dear reader, Paint Eating Patty, the chicken has better focus and concentration than I do.

Then, there are Jordan's adored baby geese. The babies might be adorable, but they are vehugeess makers. They think nothing of hanging out on the porch waiting for us to come out, or waiting for us to open the door, and they hop inside and waddle through the kitchen. Yes, it's charming when their little feet slap on the hardwood floor and they honk when they see their favorite girl, but they also poop...a lot. Not only do they poop a lot, but they also like to bite at anything they can reach. The one plant I have managed to keep alive is nibbled down to nothing because of Baby and Kiss-Kiss. If Eric leaves his hats, dirty bibs, or towels on the front porch, they drag them off the side of the porch into the dirt. They are massive mess makers.

So, dear reader, we really can't have nuffin' nice with all these animals around. Although I find them charming and their behavior is endearing, they create a lot of work. However, the smiles, laughter, and joy they bring into our world are worth a few days of painting, a roll of paper towels, and endless disinfecting wipes. On this hot and steamy summer day, stay safe, be smart, and know that the work is worth it. Don't look at damage as flaws, but as conversation starters. And remember to keep washing your hands.