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I Should Have Stayed In Bed




Have you ever had one of those days when you feel like you should have just stayed in bed? Today is one of those days for me. We have two dogs, Chubby, Jordan's devoted aging pit bull companion, and of course, my big red dog crush, Buster. Where Buster is the epitome of canine chivalry, Chubs is his redneck cousin. Buster stays close to the house and even closer to me. He does not gallivant about the farm, kill anything that moves, drink from puddles, or eat things that have been dead for God knows how long. Chubs, on the other hand, does all that and more.


Now that the weather is nice, Chubby runs about the farm killing groundhogs, opossums, raccoons, and usually tangles with a skunk two or three times a year. He likes to find "treasures" and carry them proudly to the front yard. His "treasures" are usually the remains of a deer killed the previous hunting season that has had the entire winter to fester and rot. Taking these coveted treasures away from him is next to impossible. He playfully drags them about and runs around the yard with his head held high and his tail wagging proudly. He stays just out of arms reach, and one can waste an entire day chasing him. We have to wait until he is finally bored with his booty and then rush in with a shovel to scoop it up and take it far, far away from the property in the back of the side by side. In the summer, our front yard looks very much like a boneyard or the lair of some carnivorous monster.


The weather has been beautiful, and Chubs has been on the prowl. This morning, I awoke at 4:30 to Chubby whining. I didn't think anything of it because he fusses like a baby over everything. However, I should have known something was amiss. When I got up an hour later, The Bibbed Wonder informed me Chubby had gotten sick in his crate. When I asked The Bibbed Wonder if he had cleaned up the mess, he simply stuck his finger on the side of his nose, the childish sign for not it. Sigh....apparently, I am the only one in our household who has a stomach of steel and no sense of smell. Before I had my coffee, watched the news, or checked my email, I had to drag the dog crate outside because the odor was, dare I say it, vomitous. Now, I will have to scrape piles of yuck off the bed, hose out, and disinfect the crate. Chubby is exiled to the outdoors for the morning because I don't want to look at him. To be honest, he doesn't care because he has a deer leg in the yard he is gnawing away at to his gross little heart's content. I, on the other hand, wish I had just stayed in bed.


I hope your morning has not begun on a disgusting note. As always, dear reader, stay safe, stay smart, may you be the one in your family who doesn't have to do any dirty deeds, and wash your hands, especially if dirty deeds are involved.

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