New Moms

Well, dear reader, round two of baby season is well underway. To date, the first year moms who have delivered are Freckles, Baby Boo, Beatty, Lavern, and Aggie-Girl. The only one left to deliver is Shirley. It's always a gamble with new moms. Like humans, some of our girls take to being a mom more easily than others. Some moms are very attentive, some are helicopter moms, some are survival of the fittest moms, and some take the approach of "F around and find out" kind of moms. One just never knows how motherhood will affect first-year moms.

When The Bean was born, she was very ill. I was a helicopter mom for sure. I would sit in the NIC unit and hold her for fourteen to eighteen hours a day. I would stay until the NIC nurses, sometimes gently, sometimes forcibly, sent me home. When The Bean was born, she was no bigger than a squirrel, I mean this quite literally. Watching her struggle not only broke my heart, but it turned me into a fierce protector. Although I did not give birth to my darling girl, I loved her the moment I laid eyes on her birth mom's baby bump. By the time she took her first breath, I was so in love with this child I thought my heart would burst.

I had a strong support system helping me to become the best mother I could be. To aid in her recovery, we implemented massage therapists and physical, occupational, and speech therapists. These women came to my house every week, worked with my baby, and, to be transparent, worked with me as well. Jordan was not meeting her milestones, and I was in a panic. I remember Margo, her physical therapist, asking me how much belly time she had. I looked at her like I had no idea what she was talking about. Margo smiled gently and said, "You never put her down, do you?" The truth was, I was holding her for easily eighteen to twenty-four hours. Sometimes, I would sleep in the recliner in her nursery and hold her throughout the night because it gave me as much comfort as it did Jordan. I would put her down for a nap sometimes so I could do a load of laundry or shower, but no, I certainly never put her on the floor where it is cold, drafty, and hard.

Margo explained to me that Jordan needed to spend time outside my arms so that she could stretch and move. She needed to figure out how her body worked so that she could meet her milestones. We put several quilts on the floor, and laid her on her tummy in the middle of them. She fussed at first, and I was scolded when I tried to pick her up. Eventually, we both learned it was okay for her to be on the floor with her toys and me sitting beside her. Lo and behold, she began meeting her milestones after a week or so of tummy time. Margo was pleased with her progress, and we went on to learn many more lessons together.

If I have one regret about Jordan's early days, it would be that I wish I had learned to relax about motherhood, trust my child, and trust the process so that I could have enjoyed her first few years to their fullest. I spent so much time fretting and worrying that I clouded my enjoyment of early motherhood. I am the type of person who tries to be ten steps ahead of any problem at all times. I want to be proactive rather than reactive, even in motherhood. I'm sure there is some sort of psychological motivation behind this behavior, but it's how I work.

Our goats are no different. Baby Boo is probably the closest to my mothering style and to be truthful, she is the biggest pain to deal with. Baby Boo adores her little ones. She won't allow them out of her sight. If they are out of her sight, she fusses and works herself into a panic. She stands over them, sleeps beside them, and rarely allows them outside the barn. Eric has begun to put Baby on the milk stand in the morning. She won't settle down until her little ones are on the stand with her. When Eric puts the milker on her, she lies down on the stand to knock the milker off her udder. Counting how many times Baby has lain down on the stand is a game every morning. She is a lot to deal with. Eric is the epitome of patience with her. He has started sticking his thumb in the indentation of her chest when she tries to lie down on the stand. The thumb trick seems to deter her from lying down, but she makes every effort to try. We have always said that Dot has the most quirky personality of our girls, but we think Baby Boo has surpassed Dot in quirkiness. Baby will settle into the milking routine eventually. It's just going to take time and a lot of patience.

We are fortunate that all the first-year moms are attentive. Nobody has left their little ones in the field alone, allowed them to drown in a water bucket, or refused to feed them. Everyone is gentle and caring and has taken to motherhood well. Fortunately, everyone produces more than enough milk to feed their little ones. This is a good sign that they will be successful, productive milkers. I would rather have a barn filled with helicopter moms than a group of careless, inattentive moms. As long as they behave well on the stand, we will have many good years with the first-time fresheners.

Like me, our first-year moms have a strong support system to help them be the best mom possible. Our retired girls often lead the little ones out to the pasture so the first-year moms can have a break. Red rules with an iron fist and takes no nonsense from little ones. She is known to bite the ears and tails of little ones who are misbehaving or doing something dangerous. Lily also has no patience for nonsense. Lil will bite, push, and head butt a little one who is too rambunctious or misbehaving. We don't see Lily with the little ones very often. She has embraced her retirement wholeheartedly. However, Boo, Fuschia, and Mama are the wise and gentle ones in the herd. They can be gentle and understanding, but the herd has little room for nonsense. The older girls are often seen pushing and head butting Baby Boo when she is in the middle of a meltdown over her little ones. You can almost read their minds. It's like, "Miss Girl, get yourself under control!" Baby will settle down with age and experience. Undoubtedly, she will become a well-loved and respected herd member in the future. If I could offer Baby Boo any advice at all about motherhood it would be to relax, everything will be okay. You don't have to be ten steps ahead at all times, and your little ones will be just fine. Enjoy them while they are small. Soon enough, they will talk about attending college ten to twenty hours away from you and smile about it. Sigh.

Everything is all very Kum Ba Yah, as my dear friend Jane would say. Baby season is almost over, and it has been a healthy and successful one for the most part. Watching our herd, seeing our first-time moms move into a new phase of life, and watching the herd dynamics change as the girls grow older is fascinating. Someday, the first-year moms will be the experienced ladies in the herd who offer guidance and look after the ones who come behind them. Someday, our retired girls will no longer be with us; it is a fact. However, they will continue to live on as long as we have their lineage. I can see Lily's fun, mischievous traits in her offspring. I see Boo's wise ways in her babies. I see Red's loving nature in her daughters. I see the intelligence in Fuchsia's girls. I see the gentle wisdom in Mama Boo's little girl. We are truly blessed to have such a delightful herd of goats.

On this rainy Wednesday, stay safe, be smart, take the time to relax and enjoy whatever phase of life you are in, help those who come behind you, and keep washing your hands.