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  • Writer's pictureTina

Ungrateful Gander


Geese are not nice creatures. You may remember my gimpy goose, Goostavia. Goostavia had an old injury that limited her mobility as she got older. Even though I babied her, gave her treats, carried her to and from the pond, lifted her into her house at night, and lifted her out in the morning, she would continually hiss at me and flap her wings. However, she never nipped me. As sassy as the geese are, I have never been nipped by a goose...until last night.


Raylee noticed a goose flapping its wings near the electric fence as we sat eating dinner. She asked, "What's wrong with that bird?" I watched it for a minute and realized the poor thing was caught in the electric fence, which was on. I ran out to the goose's aid as fast as my little legs could carry me, which was not very fast or graceful. Once I got to the goose, I saw it was the old gander, and his wings were caught between two live wires. His neck was stretched out, his wings were hooked on the fence, his little goose tongue was sticking out, and he was honking loudly in fear and pain.


Without thinking, I reached down to untangle him from the wires. I immediately felt the electrical zap. I hate being shocked—actually, I hate the surprise of being shocked. I swore under my breath, "Ow! F*** a duck!" I then ran to the side of the barn and turned off the fencer. Now, inside the fence, I was behind the tangled gander. He turned as I approached and gave a long, loud hiss. I'm used to the geese hissing at me when I am near. Regardless of whether I provide them with food or treats, they always hiss at me and come running at me with their heads down in a threatening way. Sigh, they are ungrateful creatures.


I spoke quietly to my entangled gander, trying to calm him down. Now that he wasn't continuously being zapped with a strong electrical current, he wasn't fighting as hard. As I slowly approached him and knelt to begin untangling his wings, he whipped his head around and nipped me on the cheek. He was so fast that before I could yelp in pain or swear, he nipped me again, this time on the chin. I couldn't get away from his biting beak fast enough. Before I knew what happened, he had a mouthful of my hair and pulled it. I yelped, "Owwww! Let go of my hair, you nasty little a**hole!" Ungrateful indeed!


I allowed him to continue to pull my hair because that seemed like a better option than biting me in the face. As I struggled to untangle his wings, one at a time, he just continued to pull on my hair and tried to flap his wings. Finally, I put one hand around his neck so he couldn't turn and bite me, and I gently dislodged his wings from the wire. Once his wings were loose, I gathered him into my arms with one hand around his neck and carried him, honking and struggling to the other side of the fence. When I placed him on the ground, he turned to nip me again, flapped his large wings at me, and then wandered off, honking and complaining. "You're welcome!" I called. I was answered with an angry honk.


During this stressful and chaotic endeavor to save my goose from being cooked on the electric fence, my family sat and watched me. Not only did they watch me, but they also took a video and laughed uproariously about it. The Bean finally came out after it was all said and done. She said she was checking to see if I needed anything, but really, she only laughed at the dirty beak marks on my cheek and chin. She then pointed out that my hair was in a damp clump hanging in my face. Sigh, why do I like any of them?


Jenna continued to play the video over and over and giggled at the part where I got shocked when I touched the goose. They then decided that the part where I carried the goose to the safety of the other side of the fence was hilarious and continued to replay that part. I'm not quite sure why I help, like, or spend time around any of them- the ungrateful geese or my rude family. However, I do indeed like the rude jokesters and grumpy geese. I'm a glutton for punishment, I suppose.


On this lovely, spring-like day, stay safe, be smart, help all creatures in need, even if they are ungrateful, think of creative ways to punish your family for laughing at you while you are on a rescue mission, and keep washing your hands.

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3 Comments


rcduman
rcduman
Mar 13

I’m so sorry to be laughing, but I could only picture what this looked and sounded like. I do hope we get to see this on America’s Funniest Videos and you win the prize, too!

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debtown75
debtown75
Mar 13

Sorry for all the things your went thru, but God Bless you for helping him. It is funny! lol

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You are a Brave Woman!

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