Happy Valentine's Day, dear reader. If I am being transparent, I have never been a fan of Valentine's Day. Don't get me wrong, I love love. However, a holiday based upon the idea of what romantic love is supposed to look like never resonated with me. I group New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day into the same category. These are holidays that, more often than not, leave one feeling flat, empty, and like they have failed at life if they do not experience an epic celebration. or are on the receiving end of a grand gesture. If one does not have a date and plans for a New Year's Eve bash, one feels as if they are ringing in the new year on the wrong note. The same can be said for Valentine's Day. If one does not have a significant other or, at the very least, a date, one feels as if they are missing out. No, I don't like Valentine's Day.
I have come to understand a few things in my fifty-one trips around the sun. First and foremost, one is not losing at life if one does not have a date on New Year's Eve or Valentine's Day. There is no better company than one's self. Personally, I would rather spend the evening with a good book, a nice cup of tea, eating something that I enjoy, and wear my favorite flannel pajamas, cuddled up on the sofa or in my bed rather than spend hours getting ready, shaving, and waxing all regions of my body, donning an outfit that makes me feel as though I am a sausage stuffed inside a casing, shoes that make my feet hurt, and ordering a salad because I want to appear as though I don't enjoy food to someone I don't really care to impress. I don't want to act impressed and surprised over a box of candy and flowers. No, staying home with myself and enjoying my own company is much preferred to pretending to like someone because it's what I am supposed to do on some silly holiday.
I"ve also learned that real love, true love is not in the grand gestures. Often, those grand gestures are overcompensating for lack of actual substance. Real love looks a lot different than I believed it to be in my teens and twenties. Real love is a little brown bag filled with vitamins, given in hopes it makes you feel better. It is a cup of coffee waiting on the counter when you wake up. It's feeding your loud and angry hissing geese who chase you when you feed them so you don't have to go out in the cold. Real love is a Cadbury Egg chucked at you from across the room because it makes you smile. Real love is being patient and kind when you are feeling low, feeling unwell, or when your head feels like it is filled with glue and you can't think straight. Real love talks you down when something or someone has broken your heart or hurt you. Real love is celebrating your wins and telling you how proud you make them. Real love is going along and supporting all your crazy dreams. Real love is a random compliment when you feel you are older than dirt and ugly. Real love has no agenda, pretense, or expectation but for that love to be returned. Real love is standing up for you when you don't or can't stand up for yourself. Real love makes you laugh out loud when your world is falling apart. Real love feels like your favorite flannel pajamas on a chilly day. It's comfortable, accepting, funny, strong, and stable. Real love feels like home.
No offense to those of you who love Valentine's Day and grand gestures. If that is your thing, you do you, Boo. I feel blessed that my perspective on Valentine's Day has changed. I feel truly blessed to feel loved and cherished every day, not just on February 14th. I hope everyone gets whatever it is they need to feel loved and special. Not just today but every day. Most importantly, I hope everyone has an opportunity to learn to love themselves, feels they are enough, and knows that they don't need flowers, candy, or grand gestures to understand they are worthy and loved.
On this chilly Valentine's Day, stay safe, be smart, you do you, know you're enough, love yourself first, and keep washing your hands.